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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, they belong to J.K. Rowling; I make no money from this.
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THE FIRST TIME
The moment you realize you’re in love, everything changes. The way you look at things, smell them, taste them. Once you fall in love for the very first time, it never leaves you. Forty years later, you’ll remember. Depending on how it ends, it will either strengthen you, or break you for future love. For some, it doesn’t have to end. For others, it never has a beginning. When the opportunity presents itself, it’s up to you to decide what to do with it.
~*~
Draco Malfoy’s entire world came shattering to the floor, along with the glass vase that he had chucked at the stone wall in front of him. He could only stare at his feet, focusing on pieces of green and gold that seemed to glitter when he didn’t blink for long periods of time.
Am I really this desperate? Am I just destined to fail at everything I do?
Draco sighed loudly and leaned against the wall. He slid his body down until he connected with the floor. He drew his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs, burying his face behind them.
Surely this was just some sort of cosmic joke. He would have to wear that sneer of his, pretend there was nothing different, or wrong.
It wouldn’t be all that difficult, pretending. He’d been able to convince the entire school that he was some sort of god, and that you shouldn’t make eye contact when he walked by. It was an all-powerful feeling, even though Draco knew how everyone really felt about him. The things they would say when he wasn’t around.
So he would go on pretending, keeping his nose and his pride high in the air for everyone to see. Especially Harry Potter.
~*~
Draco strutted through the halls at a quick pace, his robes flying behind him in a flurry. His face was twisted in his favorite smirk, causing many of the first years to run or hide behind pillars. He rounded a corner and found himself in the same hallway as Potter and his posse. Potter’s eyes, almost on cue, flitted up to his face, and Draco almost stopped, swallowing the knot in his throat. He continued walking, and he was sure Potter had seen the hesitation in his step. He glared at Potter as he passed him.
“See something you like, Potter?” His words were thick with amusement, an ounce of disgust underlying.
He watched Potter roll his eyes. “You wish, Malfoy.” Weasel and Granger were glaring with their hero.
The sneer was back on Draco’s face for Potter to see before he disappeared around another corner. He flattened his back against the wall the second he could no longer see red hair or round glasses. He squeezed his eyes shut and released a breath quietly. He felt like slamming his head back on the wall, or at least punching someone. How the hell was he supposed to look convincing if the most minor of confrontations with his supposed-enemy made him want to fall apart?
“Fuck...” Draco breathed. When he opened his eyes, he realized there were first and second years staring at him.
“What are you staring at?!” he yelled. They immediately shifted their gazes elsewhere, some of them turning red in embarrassment at being caught. Draco turned and sauntered off to Potions class, getting there early so he could think without interruption. When the room began to fill with other students, it wasn’t until his fellow Slytherin, Blaise, nudged him roughly in the arm that he came out of his daze. Potions was the only class Draco really enjoyed and excelled in, though he was careful to never let it show. He was disheartened, then, when he got back to the Slytherin common room and realized he didn’t actually remember a word of the lecture. He could barely even remember being in the classroom.
Draco didn’t show up for classes the remainder of the evening.
~*~
Staring into the darkness, Draco lay awake in his bed, twirling his thumbs around each other. It was already past midnight, but Draco was finding it more than impossible to sleep.
You wish, Malfoy.
He would never admit it aloud, but those three words cut him like knives. He rolled over and buried an angry sigh into his pillow. It was first year all over again. He’d wanted Potter to be his friend, and Potter had callously rejected him. Draco wasn’t sure how he would keep up appearances and act like he wanted nothing more than Potter to die slowly, but he was going to have to.
Draco forced himself to think of Potter’s face earlier, and how it had twisted with disgust, and it was suddenly that much easier to hate him. He would have to think of that face whenever he was around Potter, and maybe, just maybe, he would be able to get over this silly obsession in time.
~*~
Over the next few weeks, Draco avoided Potter like the plague. He made sure they sat on opposite ends of classrooms, and if they happened to be in the same hallway, Draco would glare at the ground and walk faster. He knew Granger would be on her toes and notice that something was wrong. Draco was grateful that she never confronted him, though he secretly wished someone would notice and at least pretend to care.
Consequently, Draco was startled to discover that he was not alone in the Potions room on a dreary Friday afternoon, after class had been dismissed. His eyes widened in alarm when he realized the other person was Potter. He forced the image of disgust in his mind and whirled to face his enemy.
“Shut it, Malfoy,“ Harry said before Draco could open his mouth. “I’m not going to interrupt your narcissism, so by all means, carry on.” Potter turned his back on Malfoy, but not before he flashed his armful of random Potions ingredients.
Before Draco could stop himself, he yelled, “And what the hell do you think you’re doing with all that stuff? Brewing a love potion, are we?” He smiled to himself, thrilled that he had made his voice mocking and not hopeful.
“No, you stupid git. Don’t you have first years to torture?” Potter mumbled, barely loud enough for Draco to hear.
Draco took a deep breath and decided to be bold. Or stupid, depending on how you wanted to look at it. He walked toward Harry, his wand drawn and pointed at Harry’s back. When he was no more than a few inches away, Draco stopped and said, “Didn’t anyone ever teach you not to turn your back on your enemies?”
Potter was off his chair, spinning and reaching toward Draco with remarkable speed. When Draco blinked, he looked at his own hands and realized he no longer had his wand. He glared at Potter’s satisfied face, unable to believe he’d just been overpowered by an idiot. Draco felt a knot in his chest, but he shrugged it off.
He lunged at Potter, grabbing for his wand as theatrically as possible, yelling “You wanker! Give that back!”
It was in that moment of anger that he hadn’t realized what he’d done. His entire body was almost pressed against Potter’s, and Potter’s arse was being smashed against the ledge of the table. Draco’s arm was outstretched over Potter’s head, where Harry was doing his best to keep Malfoy’s wand away from him.
Draco was now aware of the close proximity of their bodies, and he could feel the heat radiating off of Potter’s chest. He held his breath, afraid that if he didn’t, he might crumble from the smell of the Gryffindor’s body beneath him. He knew there was no way Potter couldn’t feel Draco’s erection pressing against him, but he tried to pretend that he didn’t even notice.
Potter’s green eyes were swimming with confusion and…was that desire? Draco’s heart was suddenly in his throat and he realized Potter’s breathing was ragged and hot on his neck. Potter shifted his body, grabbing hold of the table ledge to steady himself. It was in that movement that Draco realized Potter was having the same problem as himself. Draco made a split-second decision, not allowing himself to really think about what he was doing, because he knew he would have just walked away.
He leaned forward and pressed their mouths together. Potter’s eyes widened in alarm, but he didn’t struggle or try to run. Draco pressed his hips into Harry and opened his mouth hungrily. He felt Potter open his mouth to allow Draco’s tongue inside, and he sighed when their tongues touched. Draco could hear his wand fall from Potter’s hand and land on the table with a loud clatter.
When Draco opened his eyes after a minute or so, his heart raced at the sight of Potter breathing heavily, a look of pure lust in his now-blackened eyes. There was no way he could stop this now. Draco reached between their bodies and tugged at Potter’s belt, unfastening it quickly and pulling it out of the loops in one long drag, snapping the belt in midair and dropping it at their feet. He unzipped Potter’s trousers and yanked them to the floor, releasing the pulsing cock from its confined space. Harry hissed when Draco’s long fingers touched him teasingly.
“What…what about you?” Potter breathed in Draco’s ear.
Draco smirked at him. “You don’t actually think I was going to let you have all the fun? I’m a Slytherin, for fuck‘s sake.”
Potter watched as Draco slowly, mischievously unhooked his own belt. He took as much as time as he wanted, gently pulling the belt through each loop on his trousers. When Harry’s hands shot forward and jerked Draco’s trousers and underpants off in one fluid motion, Draco could only smile.
Yes. This is exactly how I fantasized it. I want you to take control, Potter. I want you to need me.
Harry forcefully grabbed the back of Draco’s head, pulling them even closer together, and kissed at his mouth eagerly. He bit and kissed and licked and sucked at Draco’s mouth, causing the most pleasant of gasps and moans to escape the pale lips. Draco was moving his hips with Potter’s, rubbing their erections against each other roughly, and it was proving difficult to keep himself calm enough to not come too soon.
As though Harry could sense the end nearing, he pushed himself away from Draco and gasped for breath. Draco looked mortified and ultimately, hurt.
“Potter, what the hell are you doing??” There was no force behind his words, and it was a miracle he’d even been able to form a sentence.
Potter’s eyes were closed, but when he opened them to look straight at Draco, there was no doubting the lust and yearning on his face.
“I’m trying to make this last longer, you idiot,” Potter mumbled.
Draco creased his eyebrows. “I am not an idiot.” He paused, before adding, “Coward.”
Harry growled in argument, but said no more. He simply grabbed Draco by the hips and spun him around, shoving him roughly into the counter and pushing down on his spine, forcing him to bend over the table. Draco heard Potter rustling around for something behind him, a lid popping off and then a squelching sound. Before Draco registered the next sound, Harry’s slick finger nudged its way into Draco’s arse.
Draco arched his back and bit his lip to prevent himself from screaming. Instead, something like a small whimper managed to escape his throat. He allowed himself to be finger-fucked by Potter, until he couldn’t stand it any longer.
“Fuck, Potter! Stop using your fingers and get your --” His words were swiftly cut off when Harry pushed his cock into Draco’s entrance and moaned. Draco clutched the edges of the table and tried to keep himself steady. He pushed back and met Potter’s thrust with his own.
He groaned loudly as the sensation of Potter’s thick heat filled him completely. It burned and ached, Draco having been a virgin, but he ignored the pain easily, loving that he could feel Harry everywhere inside of him, breaching him. He hated when Potter almost pulled clean out with each backward thrust, and he growled in protest. Harry shoved harder, crying out every time he was swallowed to the hilt by Draco’s backside.
Draco reached under the table and grabbed hold of his neglected hard-on. He stroked it softly at first, tugging harder and harder until he was in perfect rhythm with Potter’s body. He felt Potter press his chest to Draco’s back and snake a hand around the Slytherin’s. Harry stroked Draco rougher and raised his hips to hit Draco’s prostate perfectly. They both moaned and cried out together, each thrust proving better than the last.
“Potter…I can’t…I’m going to…” Draco whispered in haste. Harry only sped the jerking motion of his wrist, gasping as though every breath were his last.
“Come…come on…Draco…” Harry panted.
Draco’s eyes flew open at the sound of his name and it was so incredibly electrifying to hear Potter say it, that he knew he couldn’t hold on any longer. His arse muscles tightened and flexed as he felt his orgasm surfacing, and he allowed himself to moan as loud as he could, not caring if anyone were to walk in anymore. His hips bucked and his entire body shuddered with his release. Potter’s hand slowed, now sticky and wet, until he finally pulled his hand away completely. He used that hand to grip Draco’s hip, and tangled fingers from his other hand in Draco’s hair, tugging his head back roughly.
“Harry…” The word had barely left Draco’s lips when he felt Potter’s body start to shake. He heard a low whimper in his ear and he was suddenly filled with wet heat. Potter’s body convulsed once more before he collapsed on Draco’s back, his lifeless weight pressing Draco’s stomach painfully into the table.
They stayed like that for what seemed like hours, the laboured breathing slowly becoming normal again. Harry steadily pushed himself off of Draco, and they both hissed as Potter’s softened cock slid out of Draco’s arse.
Draco stood carefully, afraid his legs would give way at any moment. That was the last thing he needed, to make a fool of himself after an amazing shag. He turned to face Potter and was surprised to see that the Gryffindor was already clothed and clean.
Draco frowned. “You going somewhere?” He couldn’t help that he sounded bitter.
Harry laughed and shook his head. “No, I just figured I should be dressed before the next class arrives in…” he glanced at a clock, “...exactly three minutes.”
Draco’s eyes widened and he quickly cast a Cleaning Charm on himself, and threw his clothes on haphazardly. Potter looked at him and laughed again.
“Here…you’re a mess.” Harry combed through Draco’s hair and straightened his shirt until he was satisfied with his work. He grabbed Draco’s arm and pulled him out the classroom door and up a few flights of stairs.
Draco realized, after much walking, that Potter had dragged them both to the Astronomy Tower. Harry sat down on the cold cement floor, and Draco followed suit. He turned to look at Potter, giving him a suspicious look, maybe even confused.
Harry noticed Draco staring and tilted his head to look at him. “What?” he asked quietly.
“Why did you have sex with me?” Draco blurted out before he could stop himself. Shit. “I meant, why didn’t you run away?”
Harry never changed his blank expression, only looked back into Draco’s eyes. “Because I knew.”
Draco crinkled his eyebrows together and blinked. “Knew what?” He managed to sound annoyed and it pleased him greatly.
Potter sighed. “Malfoy, I know you think I’m stupid and that I rely solely on my instincts to be brave and save the world from evil, but it’s really not hard to miss something as obvious as your drooling.”
Draco’s jaw nearly came unhinged. “Drooling?! I was not fucking drooling! I don’t even know what you mean! I've stayed away from you and avoided you all month!”
Harry smiled. “Yes, and when that wasn’t obvious enough, I sometimes caught you staring when you didn’t even realize I’d turned around to look at you.” He sounded smug.
Draco scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest in defiance. “I was not being obvious. I refuse to accept that.”
Harry brushed a strand of Draco’s beautiful blond hair out of his eye. “My point is, I noticed because I was staring back. I wouldn’t have waited in Potions after class with an armful of random ingredients if I didn’t think it would get your attention.”
Draco was stunned. The stupid Gryffindor had outsmarted him once again. It was infuriating, but so astoundingly sexy. He fought the urge to grab Potter and cuddle him, and instead wrapped his arms around his knees, pulling his legs close to his chest.
“So you knew…and you felt the same this whole time? And you never said anything?” Draco whispered.
“Actually, I’ve been wanting to do that for about three years now. I never really thought I would lose my virginity to you, but I will say, I do like surprises.” Potter flashed a huge grin at Draco.
Three years?? And he was a virgin?! Oh thank Merlin. I think I love surprises too.
Draco coughed, clearing his throat. “I still beat you. I was after you for four years. And I’m willing to bet I wanked off to the thought of you between my legs more than you ever did about anyone.” Draco winked.
“Well, we have a lot of time to make up for then. Want to start round two?” Harry pushed Draco onto his back, climbing on top of him. Draco melted under Potter’s weight and nodded.
“Just so long as we never have to stop.” Draco mumbled the words against Potter’s mouth and molded himself to it.
Potter licked a line up Draco’s neck and over his chin, landing back at Draco’s mouth. He kissed the worry lines from Draco’s face and intertwined their fingers together. “Never,” he whispered.
~End