Chapter Text
DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter (and associated characters, likenesses, concepts, etc.) belongs to J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury Publishing, Scholastic, Inc. AOL/Time Warner, Inc., among others. I make no claim, written or implied, upon Harry Potter. No money is being made and no infringement or disrespect to the creators / copyright holders is intended.
Harry’s New World
The Dursleys were being a bit more cordial to him since their talking to at Kings Crossing, but then he was only made to endure their company for two weeks this summer. The letter from Ron had arrived exactly 6 days after Harry had returned to Privet Drive, telling him that Dumbledore had said it was okay for Harry to join the Weasley family at the Burrow for the rest of the school break. Harry had been highly relieved, as putting up a brave face for the Dursleys had been almost unbearable. But he knew better than to show weakness in front of them.
Harry felt like he was dying inside. Everywhere he looked, even in the Muggle world, everything reminded him of Sirius. He caught himself staring down the alleyway where he had first seen Sirius as Padfoot, moments before he was almost run down by the Knight Bus. His desk pained him, because he had composed so many letters to Sirius there. His Firebolt now both drew him and repulsed him, because while he still loved flying and was so relieved to have it back from the witch Umbridge, it had of course been a gift from Sirius. Undeserved, he would always think to himself. Harry could not even bring himself to unpack his trunk, because he knew that the shattered mirror that he’d received from Sirius lay at the bottom. And that reminder cut him more deeply than all the others.
Everyday he blamed himself more and more for Sirius’ death, not to mention the trauma that he had inflicted on his friends. Hermione would probably never be the same after her injury, though she seemed not to blame him at all. Deep down though, I bet she does, he would think. Sometimes the guilt was so overwhelming he could not even get up out of bed. He had experienced deep depressions in the past, but this was something worse. When he wasn’t lying in bed staring into space, he would walk aimlessly for hours, feeling hollow and so very alone. At least at the Burrow he would have his friends to turn to. It was this thought alone that drove Harry, although by the time he left for the Burrow, he had convinced himself that they too must blame him for everything on some level. The day the Weasleys picked him up from Privet Drive, he felt more alienated than ever.
Harry was definitely in better company, but somehow everything still came back to Sirius. Everyone seemed to notice that he was particularly despondent, and of course made their best efforts to cheer him up. Fred and George were by almost daily, even though they had gotten their own place near Diagon Alley at the beginning of summer. They would bring over new formulas for jokes and try to amuse Harry by trying them out on each other. Mrs. Weasley cooked all of his favorite foods, and fussed over him with a redoubled effort. Harry found this most embarrassing, but he had to admit that it lifted his spirits somewhat. It was good to be loved.
And of course Ron and Hermione were not to be outdone. Every day they forced Harry out of himself by either dragging him to Diagon Alley (which was a lot more fun unsupervised), discussing the possible new hijinks they would be up to their next term at Hogwarts, making all sorts of evil plans against Draco Malfoy, or by trying to teach Hermione to finally use a broom. Ron and Harry particularly enjoyed this activity, as it seemed to be the only thing Hermione didn’t have a natural talent for.
Despite everyone’s best efforts, or maybe because of them, Harry still felt strangely apart from everyone. True, being surrounded and held up by so much love was helping him greatly, but his grief was still too raw, still able to take him by surprise at any moment. He couldn’t count the times he went to write Sirius a letter, or how many times in a day he said to himself I must tell Sirius that. And always, the crushing guilt. How would it feel, he wondered, to just be able to grieve for his godfather without the weight of his guilt? But he would always, always shoulder that burden, he knew it. Just another to add to the bunch, he would think bitterly.
Gone was the Harry of last summer. No more angry outbursts, not more fits, no more crying. He found that he wished himself dead on more than one occasion. He was completely lost, and completely hopeless. Maybe, he would think at these times, I should just let Voldemort have me. Then it would all be over. But he could never do that, he wasn’t allowed to give up. He had a job to do, a destiny to fulfill. He knew that if he gave in to Voldemort that the world he loved and all those in it would be destroyed, and that would be his fault too.
Shortly after arriving at the Burrow, however, something finally happened that did make Harry happy.
One morning he had wandered off alone before everyone else had risen. He had ended up in a field that was surrounded by a thick wood; it was the place they came to fly. He’d lay down in the grass and stared blankly at the sky for seemed like a long time when he heard voices approaching. Not wanting to be bothered just yet, he got up quickly and hid in the edge of the wood. He could still see the field clearly.
It was Ron and Hermione with their brooms, apparently for another flying lesson. They had erupted from the other edge of the wood, holding hands and laughing madly. When they reached the open space, Ron grabbed Hermione and kissed her deeply and very comfortably. This was obviously not a first. Harry grinned despite himself and thought It’s about time, you silly prats!.
Ron released Hermione and said “Just in case we crash into each other and die.” She swatted him playfully, mounted her broom and kicked off. Ron yelled at her “Or we could just stay here on the ground and make out, not take any chances you know!”
Hermione laughed at him, but flew on. She was definitely getting better, Harry saw. Ron mounted his broom and chased after her, catching her easily as she was not willing to go very fast just yet. He made playful swats at her, which caused her to shriek with fake horror. All the while, they exchanged meaningful glances that lifted Harry’s heart. It can’t be that bad of a world if two people can still look at each other like that, he thought to himself. His smile was now huge. It felt really, really good. He continued to watch as they landed softly in the center of the field.
“Good Herm, much better!” said Ron enthusiastically. He was already making his way toward her. “I’ll just have to reward you for your good performance, “ he said as he swept her up in his arms.
“I’ll thank you to drop the ‘Herm’, my love.”
Ron gently pushed Hermione to the ground and fell on top of her. They rolled around, kissing and groping each other with passion. Harry realized that he either had to leave or expose himself, or else he was going to witness a scene he’d rather not, no matter how happy seeing the two of them finally together made him feel. Summoning a mischievousness that he hadn’t felt in a while, he decided to embarrass them.
“Anything you two want to tell me?” he asked casually as he strode from the wood.
Hermione had been on top of Ron, straddling him. She sat up with a small “Oh”. Ron simply looked too stunned for words.
“Well?” said Harry, his eyes wide and questioning.
Hermione's mouth began to open and close silently and Ron finally came to life. He sat up, toppling Hermione unceremoniously to the side. Harry couldn’t help but laugh. It felt amazingly good.
“How long have you been there?” Ron squealed.
Harry’s smile broadened. “I just walked up. Now, spill it,” he said as he sat on the ground next to them.
Their relationship had taken the turn at the end of last term. Without going into much detail, they told him that Hermione had been particularly upset one evening, crying about Sirius, but even more so worried about Harry.
“Ron started comforting me, very sensitively for a change,” she teased, “and before I knew it, he was kissing me. Then, I don’t know, one thing led to another, as they say,” she giggled.
“I am so, so happy,” Harry beamed at them, “It’s about bloody time.”
Ron was blushing, but he clasped Hermione’s hand and kissed her ever so gently on the cheek. This time there was no mere glance, but a deep, trusting look that spoke volumes. No, Harry thought, it can’t be such an awful world if this is still possible. He continued to smile at them as he rose.
“I think maybe I’d better leave you two alone for a while. I’ll be back at the Burrow.”
The couple grinned devilishly at each other, and Harry made his way back to Ron’s room.
He had only just lain down on the bed when there was a soft rap on the door. He got up and found that Mr. And Mrs. Weasley were standing on the other side looking very grave. His first good mood of the summer soured quickly.
“Hello Harry,” said Mr. Weasley. Mrs. Weasley was looking at him with great pity. His heart sank and he was filled with a horrible sense of foreboding. What could this be about, he thought.
“Harry, Molly and I need to speak to you. Perhaps it would be better if we went to the kitchen.” Mr. Weasley tuned sideways to let Harry pass, and the three made their way downstairs.
They all sat down at the old dining room table, Mr. Weasley across from Harry, and Mrs. Weasley at his side.
“Harry,” Mr. Weasley began, and Mrs. Weasley took hold of his hand, “I first want to say that Albus Dumbledore and Remus very much wanted to be here tonight. Unfortunately Albus has an emergency situation that he must attend to, and as for Remus, well…” he gestured outside to the full moon. “Anyway, Molly and I will do the best we can by you. This is going to be difficult Harry. We have to talk about Sirius.”
Harry felt himself go cold. He had fooled himself that this moment wouldn’t come, that someone else would just take care of things, and now that the moment had arrived, he could only shut down. He felt strangely calm, almost detached. He met Mr. Weasley’s gaze and nodded.
Mr. Weasley removed a small stack of papers from a binder that had been sitting on the table.
“Harry, these are all of Sirius’ legal documents. Documents pertaining to the property he owned, his bank accounts, and his last will and testament. He seems to have updated all of this when we reformed the Order,” he paused uncomfortably. “Harry, you are Sirius’ only heir. He left everything to you.”
Harry blinked rapidly and looked at the stack of papers. That was all that was left of Sirius, and now Mr. Weasley was telling him that it belonged to him.
Mr. Weasley went on. “Everything is yours Harry, but there are a few details that I hope you will be okay with. First, all of Sirius’ property is now yours outright. There is no money owed on Grimmauld Place. His bank accounts, however, are to be held in trust for you until you graduate from Hogwarts. Money will be taken out annually to pay for any expenses you might incur on the property, or in any emergencies, but other than that, it will remain untouched. As for Grimmauld Place, it was his wish that it continue to be used as Order headquarters for as long as necessary, but you have the final say in that,” he paused to gauge Harry’s reaction. When there was none, he sighed heavily and continued. He seemed very nervous.
“Also, Harry, while he explicitly stated that you should return for at least a week of the year to the Dursleys until such time that it is no longer, er, necessary,” he shifted uncomfortably, “and you should continue to follow Dumbledore’s lead in all things concerning,” he paused again and braced himself, “Voldemort, he wished that, er, Molly and I take over duties as your legal guardians.”
Mrs. Weasley grasped his hand even tighter at this and looked pleadingly at him. She began talking very fast.
“We know that you’re sixteen now Harry, and perhaps you don’t feel you need guardians anymore. Maybe you don’t think it should be us. But Harry, you truly are like a son to us already, and if you want us, we’d be honored to be your guardians.”
Harry softened at her words. He was so moved that he didn’t even know where to begin with a response. Sirius had given him the one thing he had wanted all of his life, a family to call his own. Emotion welled in him and he turned quickly away from Mrs. Weasley.
She began again, alarmed “Of course, we understand if you want to think about it, or if you already know you’d rather be on your own, or if you perhaps prefer Albus or Remus, both of whom said they would love to-“
Harry turned to her again, tears filling his eyes. This was the second time today that he had felt real hope, and it was a bit overwhelming for him. Mrs. Weasley fell silent as she looked at him.
“Mrs. Weasley, I have been on my own my whole life, except when I had Sirius. I…” he had been going to say I miss him, but a huge lump had risen in his throat. He swallowed hard. “I would love nothing more than to have you as guardians. You’re already family to me anyway, in my heart.”
“Oh Harry!” Mrs. Weasley wailed and threw her arms around him. She then broke down completely. Mr. Weasley quickly came to Harry’s aid and gently pried her off him. She cried “Oh Harry!” once more as Mr. Weasley led her from the room. He glanced back at Harry as they left and said “Don’t go anywhere just yet. We have one more hurdle to get over tonight.”
Harry waited. He was quite sure he knew what was next. Mr. Weasley returned shortly.
“Harry, we are so pleased with your decision. I think Molly will never be the same. She’s already talking about fixing up Fred and George’s bedroom for you. We’ve thought of you as a son for some time now.”
Harry smiled. A room of his very own, in a place where he was welcome, with people who loved him. Things were definitely looking up. “I know Mr. Weasley.”
“Now Harry, the Ministry, as well as the Order, have asked me to approach you about a memorial service for Sirius. We wanted to give you some time, but I am afraid we can’t put it off much longer. The Ministry wants to get involved so they can publicly clear Sirius’ name, and of course, we in the Order loved him dearly. Are you up for this right now?”
Once again Harry felt his eyes fill with tears. NO! his mind screamed wildly. I’ll never be up to this. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER! But Harry knew he owed it to Sirius to put things right. By giving him his family, Sirius had done more for him than he had ever dreamed possible.
Harry wiped away the tears that had begun to fall with the back of his hand and slowly shook his head yes.